Fool for love? Ouch. You need to trust that this experience can herald new opportunities. Jungian psychotherapist Benig Mauger offers a ten-step guide to dealing with heartbreak.
1. Express your feelings What you don’t feel you can’t heal. Express
how you feel in whatever way feels right for you – crying, talking,
painting, writing, dancing, playing music, whatever. The important
thing is to accept your feelings as they are and move through them by
expressing them rather than bottling them up.
2. Spend time alone Time with yourself will help you get in touch with your feelings and enable you to examine your relationships – a must for healing and to avoid repeating negative patterns.
3. Go to the sea Communing with nature helps us heal because its constancy draws us into life’s cycles, so go walking, to the sea or to the country.
4. Have patience We are often impatient with our vulnerability so we try and get out of it – don’t. Healing takes time. Heartbreak causes older love wounds to resurface so now you have a chance to heal.
5. Be creative There is latent creativity in all of us which heartbreak can awaken; it’s the heart’s way of leading us toward healing. So give form to your sorrow by writing, painting, working with clay, writing songs, whatever is your way.
6. Nurture yourself Don’t beat yourself up over your heartbreak. This only makes things worse. Do at least one nice thing for yourself every day such as eating good food, lighting a candle or having a bath infused with essential oils (my favourite!).
7. Positive thinking Don’t think of yourself as a victim – that’s a killer and will keep you wounded. If you feel abandoned, for example, remember that this door may have closed so that another, better door can open in your life.
8. Go within Don’t be tempted to distract yourself out of your heartbreak by rushing into another relationship (fatal), over-working or taking on more than you can manage.
9. Have trust Trust that your heart knows its way.
10. Keep your heart open Your endurance will help you grow and lead you to healing and loving again.
Benig’s new book, Love in a Time of Broken Heart – Healing from Within is out now, €18. More information at www.soul-connections.com
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